Prime Minister Scott Morrison Dismayed to Learn that Smoke Bombs Only Work in Film

AP – Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was left embarrassed at a press conference today, after his attempt to hide from reporters in a puff of smoke proved ineffectual. Speaking to the press at 3:00PM, the Prime Minister was facing a series of questions regarding his recent Father’s Day trip to Sydney, when he unexpectedly threw an incendiary device on the ground and ducked behind the podium. 

No stranger to disappearing acts, Mr Morrison has previously vanished from sight on numerous occasions, most famously during the 2019-20 Australian bushfire season when he snuck off to Hawaii using a classic bait-and-switch with deputy prime minister Michael McCormack to bamboozle the press gallery.

This time, however, the Prime Minister wasn’t nearly so successful, as the joke-shop “smoke bomb” he’d purchased did nothing to reduce visibility in the room, and his position behind the podium was clear for all to see. Morrison, an aficionado of animated children’s films, popped back up to sheepishly cite 2011’s Kung Fu Panda 2 as his inspiration for the manoeuvre, saying ‘If that delightfully rotund and clumsy Panda, Po, can master Kung Fu, then so too can I master the ancient art of ninjutsu’.

A source has revealed that, following this disastrous smoke-bomb debacle, a dejected PM has asked his staff to assess the viability of the ‘hey look over there’ and ‘hold up a sheet then dive into the other room’ techniques as he continues to push the boundaries of political imperceptibility.

As of publication, experts remain completely unsure how Morrison successfully pulled off his 2020-21 vaccine rollout no-show.