Novice Cube Drafter Declares Deck “Best Ever”, Immediately 0-3s

The Holiday Cube features some of Magic: the Gathering’s most powerful cards in the 25 years since its creation and allows a unique opportunity to draft “absurd” combinations of cards – and to even “break” the fundamental rules of the games with cards from the oft vaunted “Power Nine”. It attracts the attention of grizzled veterans by offering them a chance to fill their nostalgia of glory past; and also of newer players by tantalising them with the prospect of playing with cards that will never again see the spotlight of modern card design.

Ronnie Prat aka stg_thrillz is of the latter group. Renowned as a terror of FNM and Gamedays alike, wielding as much prowess in Standard as he does Sealed, Ronnie recently contacted GAS urging us to check out his “incredible draft deck” that he masterfully put together in his very first Cube League.

Boasting three Garruk Planeswalkers, a Basalt Monolith, and even an off colour Mox (Pearl), we were walked through some of the more powerful interactions.

“I’ve got Green Sun’s Zenith which can tutor for 6 creatures (a real tool box approach), Scavenging Ooze for Graveyard decks, and Reclamation Sage can handle any artifacts. Furthermore, with the new Planeswalker Rule update, I can even have all three of my Garruks on the battlefield at once! I can’t imagine how anyone will be able to keep up with all the tokens being produced!”

Ronnie’s coup de gras was his first pick Craterhoof Behemoth (also, as he insisted we convey, is searchable via Green Sun’s Zenith) which could make all of his creatures into formidable attackers, and with his Glorybringer he was even “prepared for decks packing Moat!”

“Honestly, this is the craziest deck I have ever drafted”, he confirmed, “I can’t see any way I don’t 3-0 this League.”

We contacted Ronnie in the follow-up from his crusade to find that he had swiftly been defeated in three successive matches: first to a Black LotusCrucible of WorldsStrip Mine deck, followed by a Storm Player who “went off on turn one twice!??!”, and finally some ‘dirtbag running Time Walk plus Soulfire Grand Master’. Ronnie could only watch in disgust as his opponent took several turns slowly killing him with bird tokens produced by Emeria Angel.

As of reporting time, Ronnie had clicked on the store tab to buy another Mythic Play Point Bundle, convinced that his experience was ‘once in a lifetime unlucky.’

More as this story develops.

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Russell is a moustached magician from Adelaide. Since starting Magic in 2003, he has advanced from kitchen-top Magic to the highest level: that is to say, avoiding playing Magic as much as he can. His achievements include owning a collection of the card Jar of Eyeballs, becoming the pinnacle of fashion in Australian Magic, and sleeping with 3 Pro Tour competitors.