GASMtg to Start Selling Singles

Hello loyal readers, I’m here today to announce GAS’ exciting entry into the consumer market.

Following years of negotiation, GAS President and CEO Samuel “Jame” Brent has successfully entered into a corporate partnership with American manufacturing and processing conglomerate Kraft Heinz, to begin selling the popular processed cheese ‘Kraft Singles’ on their Australian based MTG satire website.

“It’s an incredibly exciting time and I’m just glad I can finally talk about it” Jame said following the press release. “Just last week Wilfy had to go down to the local supermarket for some individually wrapped cheese slices and he lamented that we didn’t stock them in our Melbourne office. It was all I could do not to spill the beans!”

Vice chairman of Kraft Heinz, John Cahill, had this to say on the merge: “In business it is always exhilarating to see two giants in their respective fields come together to make something much larger and more influential than the sum of its parts. That is what we have done today, bringing our expertise, as the world’s fifth-largest food and Beverage Company, and combining it with GASmtg’s unique blend of MTG based satire and sporadic strategical advice. This partnership will be my legacy and our gift to the world.”

Jame had this message for GAS fans: “We’re still the same family owned and run company that you’ve loved and supported for decades, it’s just that now you can finally do your magic-satire-appreciation and online purchasing of pasteurized prepared cheese products in the same place!”

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