Australian Magic Team In Crisis

Breaking News: As a part of the recent citizenship turmoil within high ranking Australian officials, it has been found that the captain of the 2016 Australian Team and captain elect of the 2017 team, David Mines, is in fact a dual citizen of England, making him ineligible to stand for the position under Section 44.

Pictured: David Mines, probably

OR

Pictured: David Mines, definitely

This section of the constitution was extended to include Magic after the 2012 Magic World Cup which saw an Australian Resident captain the Estonian national team.

When Mines was asked for a statement regarding the issue, and whether he was aware of his English heritage, he responded by referring to the reporter as “a Georgia Peach”, before yelling about how “Charles will never be HIS king” and drinking flat, room temperature ale.

It is unlikely that Mines’ challenge to the DCI’s investigation will result in him keeping the captaincy. In that event, the role will be handed down to the second highest Australian Pro Point earner, Ryan Cubit.

Cubit is still under investigation on his citizenship however, due to inconsistencies with his alleged Tasmanian heritage and his Adonis-like appearance.

True Blue Aussie or ever youthful vegetation god?

 

GAS will have more on this story as it develops.

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Russell is a moustached magician from Adelaide. Since starting Magic in 2003, he has advanced from kitchen-top Magic to the highest level: that is to say, avoiding playing Magic as much as he can. His achievements include owning a collection of the card Jar of Eyeballs, becoming the pinnacle of fashion in Australian Magic, and sleeping with 3 Pro Tour competitors.